Mack’s Take: Gay marriage stunts no worse than any other marriage stunts (opinion)

By John Mack Freeman

This week, a lot of people have gotten up in arms because two men got married in New Zealand. Well, that’s not it exactly. It’s more that the two men were heterosexual, they were getting married as a part of a radio station stunt, and they got married to win tickets to the Rugby World Cup in Britain. Various groups have come out over the last week to say that the stunt is reprehensible, that is an insult to the worldwide fight for same sex marriage, and that it trivializes the struggle for equality.

I’m left thinking, “Yes. But that’s how it goes.”

See, that’s the troubling thing about equality. When things become equal, it doesn’t matter how hard you fought to be there, everybody has the same rights and the same access to foibles. So if marriage equality is truly equal, then same sex marriage should be just as open to sham marriages, marriages of convenience, 24 hour celebrity marriages, drunken marriage sprees, and any other type of marriage that there is. If a heterosexual couple can get married for any reason, including to win prizes or to get showered with gifts, then there’s no reason to get upset when a two guys or two girls get married for the same reason. Even if they are straight. And here’s why:

I’ve always thought that one of the most compelling arguments for same sex marriage was that an individual’s marriage has nothing to do with anybody that isn’t in that union. In the same way that same sex marriage doesn’t hurt opposite sex marriage, contest marriages don’t devalue marriages made from love and commitment. The value of a union is made from the inside. And if other people decide to play fast and loose with that, that’s on them. Because what two other guys do doesn’t have any influence over what it all means to me. Marriage as a concept is important. But it is no way as important as the marriage of two particular people.

Stunts like this are designed to make people upset to drive attention and revenue. The only reason that they keep happening is that people keep clicking on them, sharing them, and discussing them, driving up advertising revenue with each click. If people don’t like it, they don’t have to look.

So I can leave the two rugby guys alone. Not because I agree with what they’ve done…I probably wouldn’t make the same decision (at least not for that prize). But that doesn’t affect any potential marriage I might enter because I understand the history and I understand the struggle and I appreciate the importance of equality so much that in a weird way, this reality show contest style marriage means that same sex marriage is just another part of culture. No better or worse. In other words, equal.

This is an opinion piece that reflect the views of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the GLBTRT, its membership, GLBT News, or its contributors.

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